ExxonMobil ReHash Theatre presents: Oval Office Space — The Director's Cut
Ebert and Roeper gave it two thumbs up. Entertainment Weekly called it "the laugh-out-loud funniest film about Washington politics since 'All the President's Men.' " Now, with GWBWYPGN?! heading up to Bahhston this weekend for a four-day balls-out pub crawl an editors' conference and posting most likely sparse over the next few days, we present a feeble attempt to tide you over until our return: the special DVD collector's edition of "Oval Office Space," digitally remastered, somewhat recast, and with a few deleted scenes newly added. Sure, we're just rehashing old material, but we're rehashing it in Dolby 5.1 surround sound, bitch! And now, the limited-edition director's cut of "Oval Office Space."
SCENE 1:
INT. WEST WING OFFICE — DAY RICHARD CLARKE is working at an anonymous cubicle deep within the bowels of the West Wing, poring over papers, when his boss, GEORGE W. BUSH, stops by, cup of coffee in hand.
BUSH: Heeeey Clarke. Whaaaat’s happening.
CLARKE: Uh, hi, Mr. President.
BUSH: We need to talk about your WMD reports. Yeeeeah…we’re really trying to punch up our Iraq intelligence. Did you get a copy of that memo?
CLARKE: Uh, yeah, I got it, right here. I’m sorry. I was going over all the intelligence and I just couldn’t find anything indicating that Iraq had any weapons of mass destruction…but I promise I’ll do better next time.
BUSH: Yeeeeah. It’s just that we’re really trying to make it clear that the U.S. was in imminent danger from Saddam Hussein and everything, and he might have had a connection to al-Qaeda...so if you could just start putting that in your WMD reports, that’d be great.
CLARKE: But I don't think that —
BUSH: And I’ll make sure you get another copy of that memo, m’kay? Thanks a bunch.
BUSH walks off as CLARKE, shaking his head, returns to his paperwork. Within seconds, DICK CHENEY arrives.
CHENEY: Richard, we need to talk about your WMD reports.
CLARKE: Yeah. I know. I know. The President just came around and told me, and I promised him I’d…
CHENEY: It’s just that we’re trying to make it clear to everyone there was a "smoking gun" forcing us to invade Iraq and everything instead of focus on al-Qaeda, so if you could "punch it up" a little with those reports, that’d be super. OK?
CHENEY gives CLARKE an overly chummy punch on the shoulder, from which CLARKE recoils.
CHENEY: …And I’ll make sure you get another copy of that memo.
CHENEY walks off. CLARKE sighs heavily, gets up from his desk, and trudges into the situation room where GEORGE TENET and PAUL O'NEILL are looking at computer readings.
TENET: (angrily) Why does it say "Nigerian yellowcake" when there is no Nigerian yellowcake? One of these days I’m going to kick this piece of shit out the window, I mean it…
O'NEILL: You and me both, man. That thing's lucky I'm not armed. (notices CLARKE entering the room) ’Sup, G?
CLARKE: You guys want to go get some coffee at Starbucks or something? I gotta get out of here.
O'NEILL: Yeah, let's go.
CLARKE, TENET and O'NEILL grab their stuff and prepare to leave.
O'NEILL: By the way, what the hell’s up with your WMD reports?
SCENE 2:
INT. STARBUCKS, DUPONT CIRCLE — DAY CLARKE, O'NEILL and TENET sit morosely around a table, sipping disinterestedly at their cups of coffee.
CLARKE: Do you guys ever get the feeling that you’re not making a difference around here? Sometimes I wonder why I even stuck around in this business. I mean, think about it, what if we’re still doing this when we’re 80?
TENET: It would be nice to have that kind of job security.
CLARKE: Bush is gonna have me appear before the 9/11 committee on Saturday. I just know it. And I’m gonna end up doin’ it, because, well, because I’m a pussy. Which is pretty much why I signed on with this administration to begin with.
O'NEILL: Hey, I work for this administration and I don't consider myself a pussy, all right?
TENET: Yes, I am also not a pussy.
CLARKE: (something catches his attention) Look. There he is.
Angle on RAND BEERS, standing in line and laughing with a few of his friends.
TENET: Richard, if you’re so anxious to tell Rand Beers about everything that’s going on in the administration, why don’t you just go over there and talk to him?
CLARKE: You know what, I think I will.
CLARKE gets up and walks over next to BEERS.
CLARKE: Hi. I don’t know if you’ve seen me before, I’m Richard Clarke, one of Bush’s top terrorism advisers. I was wondering if you might want to have lunch sometime. I’ll be over at the Old Ebbitt Grill tomorrow, and if you want to stop by, that’s cool, and if not, that’s cool too.
CLARKE walks away with O'NEILL and TENET.
BEERS: Did he say the Old Ebbitt or Flinger's?
SCENE 3:
EXT. PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE — DAY CLARKE, O'NEILL and TENET are walking back toward the White House when PAUL WOLFOWITZ comes rushing toward them, clearly agitated.
WOLFOWITZ: Did you hear the news? Congress is mounting an investigation! To look into our prewar intelligence handling! You know what that means, right? We’re all screwed!
O'NEILL: Jesus, Wolfowitz, calm down, you're gonna give yourself a heart attack.
WOLFOWITZ: They’re gonna find out about how we trumped up all that information about Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction! Somebody’s gonna lose their job!
The foursome re-enter the White House and find themselves back in the Situation Room.
WOLFOWITZ: Oh, man, I remember back in the first Gulf War we were talking about removing Saddam Hussein from power, but Bush 41 said we’d only end up having to occupy the entire country if we did that, so we held back instead. Now that was a great idea.
O'NEILL: You really think so?
WOLFOWITZ: Of course I do! At least it didn’t cost us two hundred billion dollars!
CONDOLEEZZA RICE: (walking by) Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays! (walks off)
WOLFOWITZ: (wistfully) You know, I had a great idea once. It was called a "Jump to Conclusions" mat. You started out at 9/11, and then you could jump…to conclusions. Get it? You could end up at "Saddam Hussein has nuclear weapons," or "Saddam Hussein was responsible for 9/11," or…
O'NEILL: Paul, that’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard.
TENET: Yes. Yes, it is horrible, this idea.
CLARKE: You know, one of my old guidance counselors used to ask us, "If you had a billion dollars, what would you do?" Kind of like to help us figure out what our perfect job would be.
WOLFOWITZ: If I had a billion dollars? First of all, I would invest half of it in a new space-based missile shield. Then I would take the rest and put part of it into a new joint strike fighter that could be used by both the Navy and the Air Force…
O'NEILL: Paul, that's not even the point of the question. The point is they’re asking you what you would do if…(his attention is distracted by the fax machine) Discretionary spending up 12.5 percent over the last two years? The fuck does that mean?
SCENE 4:
INT. CLARKE’S APARTMENT — NIGHT CLARKE is sitting glumly on his couch, watching CNN. Suddenly a voice, that of former president BILL CLINTON, booms through the wall.
CLINTON (offscreen): Hey, check it out, Clarke, man, Juliet Huddy's on "Fox and Friends" and she's got her high-beams on, man!
CLARKE: (rolls his eyes) Bill, I already told you, if you want to talk, just come over!
CLINTON (offscreen): Oh! Sorry, man!
Within seconds, CLARKE’s front door opens and in walks CLINTON, who takes a seat on the couch next to CLARKE.
CLINTON: What’s wrong, Clarke, man?
CLARKE: Bill, when you were on Capitol Hill, trying to drum up support for a bill or something like that, and you weren't making a lot of progress, did anyone ever tell you it looked like you had a case of the Mondays?
CLINTON: A case of the Mondays? Hell no, man. Hell no. Matter of fact, I think I’d kick somebody’s ass for saying something like that, man.
CLARKE: Now let me ask you this — what would you do if you had a billion dollars?
CLINTON: A billion dollars? Tell you what I’d do, man — two interns at the same time.
CLARKE: That’s it? Two interns at the same time?
CLINTON: Yeah. Man, I’d hire Pamela Anderson for one of them and Carmen Electra for the other. Always wanted to do that, man. And I figure if I had a billion dollars I could hook that up, ’cause chicks dig a dude with money.
CLARKE: Well, not all chicks, Bill.
CLINTON: Well, the kinda chicks that’d double up on a dude like me do.
CLARKE: Good point.
CLINTON: What about you, man?
CLARKE: Besides two interns at the same time? I would do nothing.
CLINTON: Nothing?
CLARKE: Yeah. I’d just sit on my ass all day and do nothing.
CLINTON: Well, hell, man, you don’t need a billion dollars to do that. Look at Jeb Bush, his state’s broke, he don’t do shit.
SCENE 5:
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM — DAY Senators JOHN McCAIN and CHUCK HAGEL are sitting on one side of a long conference table. A visibly agitated PAUL WOLFOWITZ sits across from them.
HAGEL: So, uh...what is it you do here again?
WOLFOWITZ: Look, I already told you! I take intelligence briefings and turn them into plans for military operations!
HAGEL: So you're out there collecting data in the field?
WOLFOWITZ: Well, no, we have special agents that do that...
McCAIN: But when the military operations begin, you're out there directing the troops.
WOLFOWITZ: Well, no, I've actually never served in the military...look, I take the intelligence from the agents and present it to the president so that he can get a goddamn war started!...I'm a people person! Why is that so hard to understand!...
HAGEL: Uh, thank you, Mr. Wollo...uh, Wolfer...uh, that'll be all.
Quite shaken, WOLFOWITZ leaves, and PAUL O'NEILL enters to take his place.
HAGEL: Paul...Paul...Paul O'Neill?
O'NEILL: (dreading what's coming) Yes.
McCAIN: Like Paul O'Neill the right fielder for the Yankees?
O'NEILL: (sighs) Yup, that's me.
HAGEL: So what do you think of him, having the same name and all?
O'NEILL: Uh...he's pretty cool, I guess...
McCAIN: You're goddamn right he is! What do you think was his best season?
O'NEILL: Umm...I guess I'd have to say I liked them all...
HAGEL: Me too, that's a riot! I celebrate the man's entire career! For me it just doesn't get any better than the 2000 Series!
McCAIN: But it must be twice as hard for you, having the same name and all.
O'NEILL: Yeah, uh, you can just call me "P.O." if you want...
HAGEL and McCAIN just stare blankly at O'NEILL, bewildered.
SCENE 6:
INT. OLD EBBITT GRILL — DAY CLARKE waits, looking surprisingly serene, at a table where he sits stirring a cup of coffee. Eventually RAND BEERS walks in, looking a little unsure of himself. He takes a seat across from CLARKE.
CLARKE: Hi, Rand, glad you could make it. What’s that on your jacket?
BEERS: (pointing to his John Kerry button) This? Oh…this is one of my pieces of flair. (looks around surreptitiously, hastily removes button from jacket) I don’t really like to talk about my flair though. So, uh, what do you do, Richard?
CLARKE: I work in the Bush administration.
BEERS: Yeah, I know that. What do you do there?
CLARKE: I sit in a cubicle and "punch up" WMD intelligence from Iraq.
BEERS: Uh, OK, yeah…uh, so what's that like?
CLARKE: Well, see, we wanted to invade Iraq way back in 2001, right after 9/11, so basically people bring me this bogus information about Iraq’s weapons capabilities or their connection to al-Qaeda so I can hype it up and make people think Iraq was really dangerous…only I don’t really like my job, so, uh, I just don’t think I’m gonna go anymore.
BEERS: You’re just not going to go? Won’t you be forced to resign?
CLARKE: Maybe, but I don’t really want to work anymore, so I’m just not going to go.
BEERS: What will you do for money? How will you make any political contributions?
CLARKE: I never really liked donating to political campaigns, so I just think I’m not going to do that anymore, either.
BEERS: Wow.
CLARKE: Hey, I was thinking I’d just hang out at my apartment tonight and listen to some National Public Radio. Do you like National Public Radio?
BEERS: I love National Public Radio…
CLARKE: And I can tell you about all the stuff that’s going down behind closed doors in the administration. What do you think?
BEERS: Yeah. Definitely. Yeah.
SCENE 7:
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM — DAY Still in the same conference room with McCAIN and HAGEL at the table. CLARKE enters and sits across from them.
HAGEL: Richard Clarke, is it?
CLARKE: That’s right.
HAGEL: Well, Richard, maybe you could start off by telling us a little bit about what you do each day.
CLARKE: Well, usually I start off by coming in about 15 minutes late, and I come in through the East Wing — so President Bush can’t see me — and after that I just sorta space out for an hour.
McCAIN: Wha wha wha…space out?
CLARKE: Yeah, I just stare at all that Iraqi intel I’m supposed to be analyzing, but it looks like I’m working. I usually do it about an hour after lunch, too. All in all I’d say in a given day I only do about 15 minutes of real, actual intel work.
McCAIN: Really?
CLARKE: Yeah, you know why? Because I have four guys above me "vetting" my intelligence and making the threat sound as imminent as they possibly can.
McCAIN: Four guys?
CLARKE: Four guys, John! And that’s not gonna motivate me to write accurate reports. All that’s gonna do is make me use intel that’s just plausible enough for me to not get fired. I mean, it’s not that I’m lazy. It’s just that I don’t care.
HAGEL: Lemme ask you this, Richard — and this is just a hypothetical! — what if we put you in a more prominent position where we’d have four or five guys under you?
CLARKE: Yeah, I don’t know, I’ll think about it. (gets up to leave) Listen, I’ve gotta go, but it’s been a lot of fun talking to you guys. I hope your investigations go well.
HAGEL: Trust me, the pleasure was all on this side of the table.
CLARKE leaves the room. McCAIN and HAGEL look at each other.
SCENE 8:
INT. WEST WING — DAY Former ambassador JACK WILSON is seated nervously at his desk, listening to the radio. GEORGE W. BUSH strolls up in a Navy flight suit and stands by his desk, cup of coffee once again in hand.
BUSH: Heeeey Wilson. Whaaaat’s happening. Listen, we’re kind of behind the 8-ball with this weapons-of-mass-destruction thing, so I’m gonna need you to go ahead and make another trip to Nigeria, see if you can’t uncover some other information that would indicate they were selling uranium to Saddam Hussein, m’kay?
WILSON: But…but I…
BUSH: That’d be greaaaat. Yeah. And, ahhhh, I’m also gonna have someone in Cheney's office leak to Robert Novak that your wife is an undercover CIA officer. We’re kind of playing catch-up and everything, so I just gotta make sure the staff knows who’s in charge. M’kay?
WILSON: But I…I believe you have my stapler…
BUSH: Super. Thaaaanks a bunch, Wilson.
BUSH strolls off, leaving WILSON all alone.
WILSON: OK, but I’m going to set the building on fire…
SCENE 9:
INT. CLARKE’S APARTMENT — NIGHT CLARKE sits on his couch drinking a beer. O'NEILL and TENET are there also, looking very glum.
CLARKE: …So that’s the impression I got. Someone’s definitely going to take the fall for this.
TENET: This sucks! What are we gonna do?
CLARKE: I don’t know, George. But we’ve got to come up with a plan to get us out of Iraq. We weren’t meant to spend the rest of our lives sitting in tiny cubicles, getting reports that a tiny vial of botox was found in a truck trailer and trying to make it sound like we uncovered a massive chemical-weapons operation.
O'NEILL: I have an idea.
CLARKE: What is it?
O'NEILL: We need to find a way to make the Iraq operation too expensive to maintain without help from the international community, so we try to ram through another round of tax cuts. The Republicans on the Hill are almost sure to go for it, and while they’re busy slashing taxes for the richest one percent, revenue will decrease and we just won’t have enough money to keep things going...
CLARKE: …And the Republicans won’t have a clue.
O'NEILL: (smiling) Thumbs up their asses, my friend, thumbs up their asses.
TENET: That plan sounds awfully familiar.
O'NEILL: Yeah, they did it during the Reagan administration.
CLARKE: OK. You put in the call to the Congressional leadership, I’ve got another meeting with the senators tomorrow.
O'NEILL and TENET get up to leave. On his way out the door, TENET is singing a gangsta-rap song to himself.
TENET: Back up in your ass with the res-ur-rec-tion…
SCENE 10:
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM — DAY Back in the conference room, GEORGE W. BUSH and DICK CHENEY are sitting across from JOHN McCAIN and CHUCK HAGEL.
HAGEL: Well, first of all, you’re gonna have to get rid of that O'Neill guy. He's a liability at this point.
McCAIN: He’s history.
CHENEY: Sounds good to me!
McCAIN: And then there’s that guy, what’s his name, Wolla…Wolfo…Wolfor one thing he’s not gonna be working here much longer, I can tell you that…(McCAIN and HAGEL laugh)
BUSH: They’ll be gone by the end of the day.
HAGEL: Oh, no, we don’t do it like that. We generally wait until the sitting president’s term is up, and get them to submit their resignations when a lot of people are resigning anyway.
McCAIN: Problem solved from your end.
HAGEL: And that brings us to Richard Clarke. We had a chance to meet this guy, and boy, he’s just a straight shooter with "cabinet-level appointment" written all over him.
BUSH: Ooooh…yeah. I’m gonna have to go ahead and disagree with you on that one…yeah. He’s been real flaky lately, and…well, we’ve been having major problems with his WMD reports.
McCAIN looks like he’s about to get angry. HAGEL stops him.
HAGEL: I’ll handle this. Mr. President, we don’t think the problem is with Mr. Clarke. We think the problem (taps the table) is with you.
McCAIN: There it is. There it is.
BUSH: Ooooh, yeah, I don’t know about that…
McCAIN: Let me ask you this: How much time each day do you think you guys spend on these WMD reports?
Long, uncomfortable pause.
BUSH: Yeahhhh…
SCENE 11:
INT. CLARKE’S CUBICLE — DAY CLARKE and TENET are waiting anxiously for O'NEILL. O'NEILL finally arrives with a little grin on his face.
CLARKE: Did you put in the call to Frist and McConnell?
O'NEILL: Sure did. The plan is in motion.
TENET: Now we just sit back and wait…
SEAN HANNITY, the intern, stops by.
HANNITY: Did y’all hear what happened to Wolfowitz?
CLARKE: No, what happened?
HANNITY: Dude was going to Baghdad to survey the reconstruction efforts. He’s staying at the al-Rasheed Hotel downtown, right, when all the sudden some al-Qaeda insurgents mount a mortar attack on the building. Took the front of the place clean off.
CLARKE: Is Wolfowitz OK?
HANNITY: Oh, yeah. Broke both his legs…a few ribs...an arm…a wrist…lost a few teeth…but check this out. Dude’s writing a book about the whole thing. Getting an advance from Crown worth seven figures. He’s having a party at his place this weekend to celebrate. Think I might take that blond chick Ann Coulter from Human Events. If things go right I might be showing her my "O-face." You know — Ohh! Ohh! Ohh! Get it? Ohh! Check you guys later.
SCENE 12:
EXT. WOLFOWITZ’S BACKYARD — DAY It’s a beautiful fall afternoon and WOLFOWITZ is holding his celebratory barbecue. As CLARKE, BEERS, O'NEILL and TENET enter, they are met by WOLFOWITZ himself, in a full-body cast, rolling up in a motorized wheelchair.
WOLFOWITZ: Richard! Paul! George! Glad you could make it!
CLARKE: Uh, hi, Paul. Gee…you look…uh, great.
WOLFOWITZ: Thanks! Hey, you know, Richard, I know you’ve been kind of down lately, but I’ve been meaning to tell you, you’ve just got to keep your chin up. If you hang in there long enough, good things can happen in this world. I mean, just look at me!
CLARKE: Yeah…uh, that’s great, Paul.
BEERS, O'NEILL and TENET walk off to mingle with the other partygoers. SEAN HANNITY sidles up to CLARKE.
HANNITY: You've been hanging out with Rand Beers lately?
CLARKE: Yeah, I guess so.
HANNITY: Way to go, Clarke! Oooh! Oooh! Guy’s been around the block more than a few times in Washington, if you know what I mean.
CLARKE: No, Sean, what do you mean?
HANNITY: Well, he's worked for a few other administrations.
CLARKE: Like whose?
HANNITY: Well, hell, Reagan's...and Bush's...
CLARKE's face goes white.
SCENE 13:
INT. CLARKE'S CAR — DAY CLARKE drives with BEERS in the passenger's seat, looking distressed about something.
BEERS: I still don't know if this whole plan is a good idea. Trying to ram through a tax cut just so that Bush will be forced to cut back spending and bring in other countries for the Iraq occupation? It doesn't seem right to me.
CLARKE: Oh, yeah? Well, at least I didn't work for REAGAN!
BEERS: Who told you that?
CLARKE: Ohhhh!
BEERS: That is none of your business who I work for, mister! Let me out of the car!
CLARKE stops the car and BEERS opens the door.
BEERS: How dare you judge me. You're just some petty...intelligence...falsifying man. And I'm leaving.
CLARKE: Say hello to REAGAN for me!
BEERS slams the car door and CLARKE drives away. He stops at a convenience store on the way home and glances at the front page of the Washington Post; the main headline reads, "NATIONAL DEBT ABOVE $7 TRILLION; BUDGET DEFICIT FOR 2005 ESTIMATED AT $521 BILLION."
CLARKE: Oh, no.
SCENE 14:
INT. CLARKE’S APARTMENT — NIGHT Back at the apartment, CLARKE, O'NEILL and TENET look pretty depressed indeed.
TENET: Shit…mother…piss…ass…bitch…
CLARKE: What were we thinking? How did the deficit rise so fast?
O'NEILL: It was probably my fault. You know, the prescription-drug bill alone cost $130 billion more than they said it would. I probably just misplaced a decimal somewhere...dammit, I'm always screwing up mundane details like this!...
CLARKE: Well, this is not some mundane detail, Paul!
O'NEILL: You know what this means, don’t you? When this story breaks, we’re not gonna be talking about it on some Sunday-morning talk show. We’re going to be answering for it at a pound-me-in-the-ass Senate hearing, that’s what.
TENET: I don’t want to go to any hearing!
O'NEILL: Look, I’m gonna get out of here, try and figure out what I’m going to do next.
TENET and O'NEILL get up to leave.
TENET: Richard, this was a bad decision. And you are a very bad person.
TENET and O'NEILL head out the door.
CLARKE: (calling out) Hey, uh…Bill, you wanna come over?
CLINTON: Hell naw, man! I don’t need you fuckin’ up my life too!
CLARKE sighs heavily and begins writing his letter of resignation.
SCENE 15:
EXT. KERRY CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS — NIGHT CLARKE pulls up as RAND BEERS is walking out to his car. CLARKE gets out.
CLARKE: Look, I'm going to be going away for a while, and...I just wanted to say I'm sorry for the way I acted the other day. I shouldn't have acted that way when I found out you worked for all those Republicans.
BEERS: Dick, nobody likes the Republicans. That's why I left the Bush administration in disgust and started working for the Kerry campaign. But Republicans are just a fact of life that we have to deal with, whether we want to or not.
CLARKE: I understand that now. Thanks for forgiving me.
CLARKE and BEERS shake hands as ZELL MILLER walks up to his car.
ZELL MILLER: Get a room, you two! (flips them off) Nehhhh!
BEERS: I hate that guy.
SCENE 16:
EXT. WHITE HOUSE — DAY CLARKE pulls up to the White House, resignation letter in hand, to see all manner of objects being taken out of it — furniture, photographs, personal effects. Thousands of people are gathered on the sidewalk along Pennsylvania Avenue to watch as BUSH and CHENEY are marched out of the White House, weeping. CLARKE walks up next to SEAN HANNITY.
CLARKE: What happened here?
HANNITY: Bush and Cheney lost the election, man. People were already mad about how they were screwing up the war in Iraq and how they’d messed with all that intelligence, and then it turned out somebody in Cheney's office leaked the name of an undercover CIA agent to get back at her husband. When that story broke, it was the last straw…people tossed Bush out and now some dude named Kerry is the president.
CLARKE looks at HANNITY, stunned. Then he turns his attention back to the unfolding drama in front of the White House, and smiles.
SCENE 17:
EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE — DAY CLARKE and BILL CLINTON are hard at work putting up a Habitat for Humanity house in northeast D.C. Presently PAUL O'NEILL and GEORGE TENET pull up in a Town Car. CLARKE greets them with a smile.
CLARKE: Paul! George! What are you guys doing here?
TENET: We heard you were putting up houses for the poor, wanted to come by and see how you were doing.
CLARKE: Hey, I heard the two of you wrote tell-all books and now you’re pulling in big money on the lecture circuit. Congratulations.
O'NEILL: You know, we could hook you up with a lecture deal of your own, if you want.
CLARKE: Thanks, guys, but I’ve already got a book lined up, and besides, I’m pretty happy here, building houses for the less fortunate with Jimmy Carter. But that’s great for you guys. We should have lunch sometime.
TENET: Take it easy, Richard.
CLARKE: Yeah, you too.
TENET and O'NEILL get back in the Town Car and drive off. CLARKE turns to CLINTON.
CLARKE: Nothin’ like a hard day’s work, huh, Willie?
CLINTON: Fuckin’ A, man.
CLARKE casts his gaze across the construction site and takes a big breath of fresh air.
CLARKE: Fucking A.
CLARKE and CLINTON get back to work.
SCENE 18:
EXT. BEACH — DAY Wearing sunglasses and some garish swim trunks, JACK WILSON is stretched out on a beach chair on a pristine stretch of sand in Mexico. A WAITER comes by with a drink for him on a tray.
WILSON: Excuse me, sir? Señor? May I speak to you please? I asked for a mai tai, and they brought me a piña colada, and I asked for no salt on the margarita, but it had grains of salt, big grains of salt on the glass.
WAITER: Lo siento mucho. (under his breath) Gringo estupido.
WILSON: (as WAITER walks off) And I could have this place condemned, I could write a letter…sir? I could call and have a group of special agents execute a covert operation to shut this place down, assassinate the manager…there were big grains of salt on my margarita, BIG grains of salt!…
THE END
# Once again back is the incredible Doug at 9:20 AM
